he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
