she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
