I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
