haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
