So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
