Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
You ate ashes out of my bong
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
