god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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