Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
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