careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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