Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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