you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Randomize
