Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
