I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
