So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
