If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
