I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
