So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
