They should really pass out barf bags in church
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Randomize
