I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
