Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
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