i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
