I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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