Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
