I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
