David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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