time to smoke my breakfast
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
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