Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
