the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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