I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
