ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
