At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Randomize
