whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
