Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
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