words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
