i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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