just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
PANTIES FOUND
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
