did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
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