so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
i think my mom watched the whole time
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Randomize
