apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Randomize
