You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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