giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
