At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Just pee around me
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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