Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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