What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
We don't watch enough power rangers
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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