think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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