so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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