we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
