I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I have post one night stand depression
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