Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
