totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize