Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
