we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
