Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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