Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
