oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Randomize
