Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Randomize
