she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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