Your tits are I can't wait for
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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