im gay
i know
yea but for you.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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