told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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