What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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