yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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