....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
There are leaves in my underwear?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
