Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Randomize
