I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
