D3 body, D1 cock
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
